Love and Respect

Travis and I host a small group Bible study at our house every weekend. When we first started we did a study about growing together in Christ. Then our group decided that we were ready for a challenge. We added a new couple and we dove into a study of this book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect. At first when Travis and I were preparing for the first week of the study I was rather skeptical. I was wondering what this psychologist could possibly have to say that was new about marriage. In a way I was right, in fact what he as to say is very old in fact it dates way back but he expresses it in new fresh ways that really drive home the truth that was right in front of us the whole time. The book is based on Ephesians 5: 33 "However each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" . The biblical truths in this book are not for the faint of heart, and they are not easy to apply because they go against what is natural for us but the rewards are great as we and the other couples in our group are beginning to see.

I think that the reason that so many marriages fail is because we are not willing to do what does not feel natural, in fact we often just do what we feel. If we do not feel in love anymore and we think that gives us a reason to get out of our marriage rather than pushing through it. Really those that have this mind set are missing out. I think that it is after the pushing through when you rely not on your feelings but on your commitment, your will, and strength from God that you can push through to an even depper, more intimate, more fulfilling and more loving relationship. There are things in this book that make us laugh because they are so true when it comes to realtionships between men and women and there are things that are very challenging because it exposes your faults as an individual and things that you need to work on, or things that you are doing or thinking that are not in line with God's thoughts or plans for marriage. This is a perspective changing book based on biblical truth. All things in it may not apply to you but I think much of it does.

We have been going through the book and the workbook, searching the Bible, and watching a series of DVD's by the author. We have had our struggles with some of the material and content matter, we have had some struggles as couples and we have benefited from feedback from each other. We have four more sessions to go and we have made it through ten. I know for Travis and I we have learned to better deal with conflicts and to better understand how we can support and care for each other and communicate with each other. I learned that so much of the time i treat Travis the way I want to be treated with good intentions and that is not necessarily the way he most wants to be treated or communicated with.

We decided that for fn our group would have a "Love & Respect" outing where the girls planne something special to show respect for the guys and the guys planned something special to show love to us.

All the girls got ready at Keishas house. We were ready and waiting for the guys to pick us up and we saw a limo drive by. Keisha said something to the effect that it would be funny if they picked us up in a limo and most of us just agreed not thinking it a real possibility. Then limo came back and pulled up in front of her house and quite a bit of screaming insued. I had never been in a limo so I was very excited. It was also a very nice limo, black inside with cool lights that changed colors.

We made a stop at the Diplomat hotel to give our guys their gifts. We sat outside by the pool overlooking the ocean by ourselves with our spouse and gave them our gifts. We had created a basket with different gifts one representing each letter of Respect. For example for P we all went to Sears and had our Picture taken and put in a frame for them. Then we read them a letter we had written them about what we respected about them at the end. The guys also suprised each of us with a special gift.

Travis gave me my favorite kind of candle and a plaque he made for me with a verse on it. I gave him the picture for P along with a gift for all the other letters including a Song for S which was a CD that had a special song that we liked when we were dating and that was played at our wedding.

Dinner was at the Melting Pot a fondu restaurant. It was very good. The waiter asked us what we were celebrating and then someone said marriage and someone said Love & Respect, he probably did not know what we were talking about but hey it is something to celebrate!!! If you have not been to the melting pot they have four courses, cheese for dipping, salad, meet that you cook yourself in the pot with different kinds of sauce, and then chocolate with fruits and cakes etc..for dipping for dessert.

The inside of the limo. Thanks guys it was a great night and ladies I think we did a great job dont you? Thanks also to Josh and Amy who watched Zion so we could go out. If you have not read this book I think you would find it beneficial no matter what stage you are at in your marriage, even if you feel you have a great one it could be even better. If you get the chance to read it let us know what you think! As for us we will be wrapping up our study soon but we will remember this date and hopefully what we have learned and we will move on to learning something new.