3 Weeks

Well Zion is three weeks old today which I cant believe. Its been a whirlwind. Someone mentioned to me that reading our blog sounds like everything is perfect and very easy. I guess writing about the easy and fun things is the most enjoyable and what most people would want to hear about. The past three weeks have been awesome, exciting, and wonderful but not without many challenges. I know I did not realize how challenging but rewarding it would be to have a baby. I guess you cant possibly know what it is like until it happens to you but also I think no one ever told me about many of the things that I experienced. First of all breastfeeding proved to be more complicated than I thought it would be. You know you just see mothers out and about feeding their babies so you think no big deal. Maybe for some thats just how is. In the hospital there was no one to help me figure out what I was doing the first time I tried and then later on every nurse I asked for help had a different philosophy about latching on, how often the baby should eat and everything in between. Then it became really painful and I ended up getting mastitis which I never even heard of before. I was about ready to give up on the whole thing. Then we had a lacation consultant who came to our house, she at least made me realize that dear Zion was getting enough food so that made me feel a little better. But even seeing her did not fix the problem. Finally the midwife determined that I had an infection but it was my moms friend who is a midwife that gave me advice about all different things that I could do that fixed the problem. Thankfully I made it through. I think the hardest part was feeling so frustrated because I didnt think that I should be having a problem because I never heard of anyone having a problem with it before. Thankfully my dear friend Les who just had a baby prepared me for some of the other strange things so I didnt think I was dying when I woke up at night drenched in sweat.

At the beginning I was so worried that we were not doing things right. They told us before we left the hospital that she had jaundice and we had to have her on this light thing at home which seemed scary to me because I didnt know anything about it. The first couple of days we were running her to the doctors and the hospital for blood tests and stuff which I totally hated and which made me more worried about her. Her first visit to the pediatrician was rather traumatic. I didnt like the guy when I met him. Now granted I was probably more emotional and edgy than usual. I was a little worried about dear Zions nose because it was all squised to one side. I figured that he would just say it was from delivery and it would go straight on its own. So I asked him just to check and he said it would probably be like that permanetly and that we could consult a plastic surgeon when she got older because "you know its her nose." I just lost it when we got in the car. I had been trying to hold it together but I was now really worried about her nose and totally worn out and tired. Poor Travis had to drive with both of us crying in the back seat of the car. I gladly announce that I was right about her nose and it is now perfectly straight. I should have known after all God made her nose not the pediatrician what does he know. That pediatrician also called us the other day thinking that we were some family that just had a preemie. Thankfully we already found another pediatirician that we really like.

I have to stop and think about what day of the week it is and I am happy if I get one thing done during the day. Sometimes she cries and for the life of me I cant figure out why she is crying. I watched Oprah today and there was this lady on that says she can tell exactly what a baby wants by how they cry and that all babies make the same noises for certain things. Like "neh" when they are hungry "eh" when the need to burp etc... I tried listening to Zion but all I hear is WAH! You know this whole experience has made me realize that I was very niave. You know you would think I have a masters degree and I have spent a lot of my short career so far telling other people how to raise their children. There are so many things that I didnt know and I am sure a lot that I still dont know after only three weeks. You know I suppose there is a reason for being niave because if you always knew what things would be like you might be too afraid to try and then you would miss out on the biggest blessings of your life. Its certainly not easy especially when you are used to always doing pretty much whatever you want with your time and being in control of things at work and at home. But when I look at her smiling in her sleep or I wake up and she is staring at me its just really amazing. I love to just watch her which is part of the reason I cant get anything done and I love watching her with Travis. He is so great with her and she loves being with him. I cant believe she has been with us for three weeks. It feels like just one long day to me. She is teaching me lots of knew skills including typing with one hand. Today I managed to update my whole resume with one hand. Sorry about the poor spelling it just doesnt seem that important right now.